About The Cruising Kitty

I've been sailing since I could pounce and catch my own sardines. When I adopted Can Opener, it was a matter of expedience, but I've grown to appreciate his technique. Enough to train him up as First Mate for the time being.

I rescued Can Opener from an 80-100 hour/week job as a Wharton-trained financial analyst... which left him no time whatsoever to sail. Kind of missed the whole point.

I took him away from all that. Now he works for me.


--Captain Cat

(transcribed by the Can Opener)

Food for a Boat

After second breakfast, I like to settle down on my silk cushion (Hey! That's my pillow. You can tell because it's on my berth, you furry menace!) and plan first lunch of the day, seaside snack and a hearty 3-course meal with traditional fish-flavoured dessert.

All recipes are designed to be low cost, easy-to-prepare, and for use with limited equipment on short coastal cruises of 1-10 days... and (sigh) flavour-adapted for humans.

Sourcing quality food - on a cat-sized budget - preserving, storing, inventorying ingredients, and finally, preparing each meal (Yo! When is the Dante's Inferno-galley stove ever going to see you frying up a feast at it, fuzzball?) is a delight. The Can Opener's culinary progress this year has been impressive.


--Captain Cat

(transcribed by the Can Opener)

In Which We Meet The Can Opener

Captain Cat:  My First Mate, Can Opener, is on the one true and straight path to personal preparation for buying the yacht of my dreams and slingshoting me into the cruising life I deserve. Fill in the details, Can Opener.

Can Opener:  Yeah. What he said.

Captain Cat:  Hey! You told me you were a litter-trained smarty-pants with an MBA from Wharton. What kind of incoherent language is that?

Can Opener:  Captain Cat, after years of cranking out financial plans and strategy for a faceless conglomerate, I realised spoken words just got in the way. The written word is king.

Captain Cat:  Yeah, well king this! I need you to listen up, take notes on what I teach you and do a TON of research. And that research includes asking a lot of humans a lot of questions, getting opinions and advice, and relaying all that good info back to me. Then I can tell you what the right answer is.

Can Opener:  Right. Practice talking. I'm on it. Right after I fry up the cheese burgers for dinner.

Captain Cat:  Nix, Can Opener. The "Cod and Plaice Dinner Packs" will do nicely. We're on a lean-protein performance diet regime. You can serve me in the east wing. I fancy the garden view tonight.

Can Opener:  You didn't mention any of this stuff when you showed up one night banging on my back door, screaming for food...  How is it that an old salt sailing cat knocks on my door when sailing around the world was exactly what I wanted to do?

Captain Cat:  Match made in heaven. Now go get the Cod and Plaice.

Can Opener:  Yeah, um...

Captain Cat:  Yes, Captain!

Can Opener:  Yes, Captain.


(transcribed by the Can Opener)

In Which We Meet Captain Cat

Sailing is what I live for, the reason I bounce out of my basket every day at the crack of noon. The wind in my stripes, my cup of mojo bubbling on the galley stove, the whole sea like an endless fish supermarket ahead of me...

But my first goal in life is to lure Pussy Galore onto my ship in which case I'll boot the Can Opener out onto the saloon berths faster than you can say "mouse-flavoured Meow Mix". Pussy and I'll shack up in my Captain's Quarters with all the tuna treats in the world stored under my Foam-Lite cushions and the fuzzy dice I installed below the hatch swinging gently in time with the waves.

Before that can happen though, I've got to get the Can Opener trained up and motivated to buy me the yacht of my dreams. Something with class and style, seaworthy and suitable for all the long term blue water traveling I plan to do.

He'll need to be fit: physically, academically and financially. Fit enough to haul on all the boat work I need done; strong enough in navigation, tides, meteorology, outfitting, boat management and safety; and with a steel-riveted financial plan that will keep my velvet-tasseled cruising kitty bag loaded with enough coins for the cruising life I aspire to and deserve. I'll even let the Can Opener sail with me on my boat. Everybody needs a first mate.

'Course if Pussy comes along he'd better add a few useful circus tricks to his offering or I will have to reconsider my personnel needs...


--Captain Cat

(transcribed by the Can Opener)